Today is my first Father’s Day, so I wanted to share with you a little bit about what being your dad has meant to me. I haven’t been doing this for very long. You’ve only been on the outside of your mom for a little over 3 months now. It’s strange how I can think back and remember events that happened around the time of your birth and they don’t seem like they happened very long ago, but at the same time, it is growing more and more difficult to remember what it was like not being your dad.
It amazes me how quickly you’ve been changing and growing. We saw a week old baby at church the other day who was 7 ½ pounds when she was born. I couldn’t believe that just a little while ago you were even smaller than that tiny baby. Now you’re HUGE! You’re busting out of your old shirts and socks. Your big baggy shorts that used to look like pants on you actually look like shorts. And you’ve got a couple more chins than you started out with.
And you’re also doing a lot of things that you didn’t used to do. You used to be pretty much limited to crying, eating, and sleeping. Now you’re smiling, laughing, grabbing stuff, chattering, and drooling too. I can’t tell you how much fun it is to see you develop all these new skills and mannerisms. The first time you smiled at me made me so happy inside. And the first time you laughed…that was such a fun and amazing moment. I’m excited to experience the other new firsts that are coming up for you. Your first words, your first steps, the first time you hug me back.
But at the same time, it’s hard for me to keep up with you. You’re changing so fast that it’s difficult for me to savor moments that are quickly coming and going. I told a friend that I was going to start feeding you coffee and cigarettes to stunt your growth so that you’d stay my little boy. It makes me realize how valuable the time that we spend together is, and it’s a constant reminder to me to make our relationship a top priority.
We have a great relationship, you and me. When we’re together, I feel like I can tell you things that I can’t say to anyone else, not even your mother. If I were to tell your mom “Glaaaaaaaaah” or “OoooowAAAA-aaahhh”, she’d think I was dumb. But I can say these things to you and you understand me.
But seriously, you have an effect on me that not many others have. As you well know, your dad likes to be a tough guy. I like to grill meat over fire, I don’t put lotion on my hands, and I don’t watch figure skating. But sometimes when I’m holding you, I can feel pretty inadequate. You make me realize how much I don’t know about what I’m doing and how dependent I have to be on God (and your mom) in order to be a good dad to you.
LilKat1, I love being your dad. I can’t express to you how excited and scared I am to watch you grow up. But I know that if God will clothe the lilies of the field, then He will surely take care of us too. You are one of the greatest blessings in my life, and I’m incredibly grateful that God has given me the privilege of being your father.
Love always from you dad,
Sunday, June 15, 2008
When LilKat1 was only a few months old, the pastor at our church asked me to do a special presentation to the congregation. He wanted me to write a letter to my son, telling him about how it felt to be his dad that I would read to the congregation on Father's Day. It turned out pretty well. Everyone seemed to like it. Anyhow, here's what I came up with...