Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I had an Ear Lavage today. Sounds interesting right? It's pronounced 'la-VAJ', like it's very fancy and French. It sounds like 'la vache' (which I think means 'the cow' if I remember my French from high school. So I guess I came very close to having an Ear The Cow).
Well, if you've never had one, let me tell you, it is not very fancy. It's actually very gross and weird. This was done at the doctor's office. The doctor said I had too much gunk in my ears. So she had a lady come in to give me an Ear The Cow. The lady gave me a plastic tub to hold under my ear. Then she took a squirt bottle with a special attachment and unloaded about a gallon of water into my ear.
It kind of sounded like this:
except for like a hundred squirts and not just 4. And it feels like someone is jabbing you inside of your head in an area that was never meant to be jabbed. Then when she stops squirting, it sounds like your ear is full of bubbles.
Every once in a while, she took a break to empty the tub of water/ear goo. And if I was lucky she'd say 'Hey! A nice big chunk came out that time!' Then she'd look inside my ear to see if it was clean yet. If it wasn't, she'd go back to trying to shoot water into my brain.
Anyhow, my ears are now free from gunk. Which I guess it's good. I just hope they stay un-gunky so I don't need another Ear The Cow. I really didn't enjoy it.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Have you ever had that dream about falling down? You know the one I'm talking about?
The one where you trip and fall down and scrape up your hands on the asphalt. And the scrapes get all dirty and end up with yucky things inside of them. Like bug eggs.
And then the bug eggs hatch under your skin. And when you look at your palms, you can see creepy bugs crawling around inside the skin of your hands.
And so you scratch at them, and your skin bursts open and a bunch of those roly-poly potato bugs start crawling out of your hands. You know the dream I'm talking about?
I had that dream last night. Twice. I didn't sleep very well.