Sunday, January 20, 2008

I miss my friend

A couple of years ago, one of my Sunday School kids was killed in a car accident. The month after that was pretty hard for me, emotionally. Last night, I had a dream that I saw her again. I was so happy to see her. As soon as I recognized her, I went over to talk to her. But right as I approached her, I woke up. I could barely sleep the rest of the night. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wanted to go back to sleep and be able to talk with her again. But I couldn't.

This morning, I've been trying to think of why I get so sad thinking about her. I know she's in Heaven, and I know that I'll get to see her again. I know that she's with the Lord which is better than any place that I could imagine. Yet, I still get sad thinking about her. The week before the accident, she was in my Sunday School class. After class, I was walking down the stairs at church and saw her talking with one of her friends. I called out her name to say something silly to her, but she didn't hear me. I thought to myself, 'it's fine, I'll just see her next week'. I never got that chance.

One of the things that I think about is the fact that I never got to say goodbye to her. It was all so sudden. I still remember when our friend from church called me to tell me about the accident. It was like someone snuck up from behind me and hit me with a hammer. It was just so unexpected and devastating. I was telling Mrs. BigKat that I don't even like it when I don't get to say goodbye to LilKat1 before he gets on the school bus. I think it's one of the main reasons why I get so sad thinking about her 2 years later (I think the other reason is just knowing how hard it is for her parents).

I praise God that my friend is with Him. I praise God that I'll get to see her again someday. But right now, I miss her.


Tara said...

First, LOVE the new blog look. Second, have you read Randy Alcorn's book called Heaven? should check it out. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. I remember you talking about this precious girl, it still breaks my heart to hear about it.

BigKat said...

The only things that I know about the book are the stuff that you wrote on your blog. I think naturally, I'm quite skeptical of books that describe Heaven. I studied about Heaven a bit for my systematic theology classes and it doesn't seem like there's a lot of detail in Scripture about what the experience is really like. So normally I wouldn't really be interested in reading it. But ever since K died, it is something that I've wondered about now and then. Maybe I'll see if I can reserve it at the library.

Tara said...

There is more detail then you realize...the book is written on a level and in a style that I think will appeal to you. Definitely not light reading! :) A few things I need to research more on my own to decide for sure but otherwise, its completely changed my spiritual walk, for the better...I think Max Lucado also addresses the same concepts about Heaven in his newest book 3:16 from excerpts I have read. More coming on my blog soon... :) Chris has enjoyed it, too.

BigKat said...

I just checked the library web site. They have a copy, but it's checked out right now. I think I'll reserve it.

Although, my personal reading has gotten much lighter lately. I used to really enjoy reading my textbooks. Not as much lately. I think the kids make me too tired. Although I have found a great Bible study resource. I'm planning on writing a weblog entry about it as soon as I can.