50 Things

One of my friends has recently made her 100th blog post. Apparently, when you reach this milestone, you're supposed to write a '100 things about me' post. Unfortunately, I didn't know about this and passed 100 a while ago. I like the idea though, so I decided to quickly come up with a shorter version of it. I'm only going to do 50 things instead of 100 things. And it's not going to be about me. It's going to be about someone that everyone should know about...My-Friend-Who-Lies (MFWL).

I met MFWL in college. He really is a unique person. You know how people have quirks? Well, that's all this guy has. Everything about him is really goofy. So coming up with 50 things about him was pretty easy. Anyhow, here you go...50 things about My-Friend-Who-Lies

1. He is colorblind.
2. In college, he would play video games where you got to create your own character. I had to help him pick out his guy's clothes because he couldn't tell what color they were.
3. One time, he came over to my house wearing grey pants. I mentioned something about them and he told me that they were green. I tried telling him that he was wrong, but he wouldn't believe me. I had to have my son come over and tell him his pants color. And they weren't new pants either. He'd had them for a long time and just always thought they were green.
4. He can’t pick his own clothes. He had his sister look at all his clothes and number them. Then she wrote down the possible pants/shirt combinations that he could wear.
5. He also has a 'lazy eye'.
6. He sleeps with his eyes open. It’s quite creepy.
7. He has no sense of direction.
8. There was a mall a few blocks from where we went to college. After 4 years, he still could not figure out how to get to the mall.
9. We live in Oregon, but he sometimes ends up in Washington on accident.
10. He hates that.
11. One time, we were at his house and we went to get sandwiches. But first we had to walk to his work. As we got to the sandwich place, I noticed that we had taken a really roundabout way of getting there. I asked him why we couldn’t have just walked down this street instead of going all the way around. Turns out it was because he knew how to get from his house to his work and from his work to the sandwich place, but not from his house directly to the sandwich place.
12. He has a GPS Navigational thing now, so it’s not as much of a problem.
13. He calls it ‘Emily’.
14. He lies a lot (which is why I call him My-Friend-Who-Lies)
15. If you ask him who won the NBA championship last year, he will say ‘The Portland Trailblazers’
16. If you ask him who won the NFL championship last year, he will say ‘The San Francisco 49ers’
17. If you say that he’s wrong because you saw the San Antonio Spurs win the championship last year, he’ll say that after the cameras turned off, Tim Duncan took off his face and it was really LaMarcus Aldridge underneath.
18. Everyone calls his dad Pete.
19. His dad’s name is Richard.
20. He has a foster brother who was once on a boat that was attacked by pirates.
21. Before his foster brother lived with his family, he lived with a family whose last name was Porn.
22. He sometimes gets blamed for stuff that I do. It is very funny when this happens.
23. One time we were in a flag football class together. Our normal teacher was out, so we had a substitute. I got into an argument with him over a rules interpretation and said some things I shouldn’t have said.
24. I was absent at the next class. The new teacher was still there though and he told MFWL that if he did anything bad that he’d call security.
25. I went to the following class and was going to apologize, but our regular teacher was back.
26. One time, we were at Target and I threw a football to him. It went over his head and into the next aisle.
27. I ran away so I wouldn’t get in trouble. He went and got the ball and an old man yelled at him for messing around in the store.
28. He has a cat with no tail that’s shaped like a sausage.
29. One summer, he got a job packaging chainsaw chains. His coworkers called him ‘college boy’ because he knew how to multiply numbers.
30. When he was doing the vows at his wedding, he said ‘In the name of the Father, and of the Holy Spirit…Oh! And the Son!’
31. He can’t remember which one is Spring and which one is Fall.
32. He also gets September and October mixed up.
33. When he was little, he had a baby sitter make him eat cottage cheese.
34. After he ate it, he threw up.
35. To this day, he says he can’t eat white, creamy foods.
36. But for some reason, he can eat fettuccini alfredo.
37. One time he went skiing and didn’t have ski pants so he got some garbage bags and duct taped them to his legs.
38. He has been hit on by several guys.
39. One time, he made his own strength shoes by taping wooden blocks to the bottom of his sneakers.
40. He kept his money in a little safe in college. The combination to the safe was 5.
41. He can’t stand losing to me in anything.
42. Unfortunately for him, it happens a lot.
43. He has never beaten me in a foot race.
44. But if you ask him about it, he will say that he has (but that’s why he’s My-Friend-Who-Lies).
45. The day before they were going to shut down Napster, he downloaded all the Weird Al Yankovic songs that he could find.
46. He had big, dancing Chinese dragons at his wedding reception.
47. He looks younger than he is.
48. When we were in college, they would ask for his ID when he went to see rated ‘R’ movies.
49. His favorite move in basketball is this scoopy shot that he almost always scores with.
50. I can block his scoopy shot pretty much 100% of the time.

Looking back at my list, 50 things really doesn't do him justice. A list of 100 would really be better. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed a quick glimpse into the life of My-Friend-Who-Lies.